


Merry Christmas Kaidan

by vitaldose



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, mature content, over use of proper names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 04:10:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitaldose/pseuds/vitaldose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas on the Normandy, the crew is all on shore leave on the citadel leaving the Commander and Kaidan alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Christmas Kaidan

** Merry Christmas Kaidan **

****

It would have been December the 25th on Earth.

Kaidan had kept a calendar running in his quarters just for the sake of crossing out the days.  It was ridiculous he knew, but it was important to him. Although, no matter how silly he knew it was Kaidan wasn't sure how many more times he'd have to hear Vega tell him such, before he decided to stun the bastard.

He hadn't really celebrated Christmas much, when he was young his family usually celebrated Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, by watching Hockey and drinking beer. There wasn't a whole lot of Hockey and beer on the Normandy and with Earth in the state that it was-

Kaidan leaned over the console with a stylus and slowly drew an X through the 25th. It of course automatically straightened the edges, but for a moment it was the telltale squiggly line of a typical human being . "Merry Christmas" he whispered and straightened his back up with a slight groan. He missed his family, they'd been close enough that not being able to contact them was a theme that seemed to set up his whole life.

He turned around when he heard the swish of his cabin door closing, it had been locked.

Only two people had access to his cabin and EDI was with Jeff on the citadel. Leaning around the corner, his arms across his chest, he smiled "Evening Commander".

Shepard was stunned for a second and almost dropped the bottle in his hand. Kaidan tilted his head, the bottle was gift wrapped, with a small bow and a tag with Kaidan's name on it "TM-88 Peruvian Whiskey? Shepard I haven't even finished the last bottle you bought me."

"What could another bottle hurt?"

"Nothing I guess" Kaidan smiled.

"Merry Christmas Kaidan."

"You really shouldn't have-"

"Kaidan-"

"Merry Christmas Shepard."

He took the bottle from the commander and waved him in the cabin. The bow was velvet and ornate and he wondered where in the hell Shepard even found it, he even hand wrote the tag. "Sorry for the mess around here, I wasn't expecting company."

"I sent you a message."

Kaidan knitted his brow and went over to the computer, opening up the message box. There it was unopened at the top of the list, he tapped it open and read it aloud "Hey, just wondering if you were interested in coming up to my cabin later for a Christmas drink, we haven't had a whole lot of time to talk since you got back aboard and I wanted to catch up. If you get this message too late or not at all, I'm just warning you I'm extremely impatient and will probably just show up at your cabin. -Shepard."

Kaidan tapped it closed and turned to a smug Shepard "I did send it priority."

"You knew I wasn't going to get it didn't you?"

"You're really great at sending messages, and really awful at getting them."

Kaidan laughed and offered Shepard a seat, while he shifted through some cabinets to find a few glasses "If you want ice you're going to have to go to the lounge" he wiped out two used glasses and set them on the small table in the center of the room. It was quiet as he poured the drinks, nothing but the liquid as it hit the glass; he avoided Shepard's gaze as he handed him the whiskey.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fit as a fiddle" Kaidan replied plainly as he sipped his drink "doc says everything working right and I'll have no lasting scars."

"That's not what I meant" Shepard put his glass down with a soft clink. His voice was soft yet strong and it forced Kaidan to abandon his attempt at not looking him in the eye. "It's been a tough couple months for you and although we've spoken enough to know where each other stands, I want to make sure that you're," Shepard paused, obviously searching for the correct phrase, but Kaidan interrupted.

"Not crazy?"

"That you're mentally capable for combat."

"I don't have PTSD Commander" Kaidan set his drink down, embarrassed he was even having this conversation.

"No but you hold on to things"  Shepard countered "you let them get to you. I know you're strong Kaidan, hell-" he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his neck "-if anyone knows that to be true it's me. Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried about you and I don't want to throw you back in to the fray without knowing full well that's you're ready for it."

"Commander-"

"John."

"What?"

"Please call me John, it's Christmas for god sakes."

"John," the name itself felt foreign and awkward on his tongue. He'd spent a little more than three years calling him Commander. "I'm fine, I'm not great or perfect, I'm just fine." He sighed "Yes I have nightmares, but when was the last time any of us had a good night sleep?"

Shepard's eyes dropped.

"I've been doing this just as long as you have" he picked up his glass again and swirled the contents, before placing it between his lips, "the difference? You died, I lived" and drank it down.

Shepard mimicked Kaidan's motions with the glass. He gritted his teeth and sucked in as he set the glass down, shaking his head he breathed out.

There was a stillness to Kaidan's cabin he'd never felt before. A quietness he'd not experienced for quite some time; it was maddening. "For all of your posturing you still can't drink worth a damn."

"Excuse me?" Shepard laughed

"You heard me, I mean you can drink beer with the best of them" he lifted the bottle and poured another shot for both of them "but liquor? I've got you beat by a mile."

Shepard picked up the glass and immediately regretted his next words. "Prove it."

It took them almost three hours to finish most of the bottle. More time passed between each shot as the stories got longer and the drink was forgotten. Memories of Jenkins and Ashley rolled off their tongues more naturally than they had in years, giving way to memories not shared. Memories of the collectors, memories of Cerberus.

"So I basically told the Illusive Man to shove it up his ass."

"You're shitting me."

"No" Shepard laughed "I never once conformed to his twisted moral compass and it drove him crazy. But he was as much using me as I was using him." Shepard looked down at his empty glass and chuckled "I guess I'm a little like Frankenstein's monster huh?"

Kaidan looked up and furrowed his brow.

"He created me from scrap, brought me to life and I turned on him.

Gingerly Kaidan reached across the table and took Shepard's hand "We're going to stop them."

"Sometimes I wonder if we're wasting our time" he replied, exasperated. The whiskey had loosened his tongue as well as his mind, thoughts and worries he hadn't managed to find words for made their way in to conversations about animals and the evils that beset men.

"Shepard, we can't afford to think like that" Kaidan squeezed, but Shepard was somewhere else " _John_."

Shepard looked up "I-" he rubbed his eyes, Kaidan's voice pulling him back "it's just fatigue."

"You should have gone out with Vega tonight" Kaidan smiled "you need a break."

"No" Shepard shook his head, breaking up the remaining cobwebs as a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "No I wanted to be here tonight, what I needed isn't out there."

Kaidan blinked, blissfully naive in the strangest of times "What's here that you can't find on the citadel?"

Using the table for support Shepard stood up slowly; his usual authoritative stance, replaced with one of wobbly drunkenness. Kaidan stifled a laugh as he moved to the other side of the small table, glassy eyed and staggering, and raised a hand to cup Kaidan's chin. He gradually raised his fingers, and ran them through Kaidan's hair.

He had planned on getting drunk by himself that night, celebrating Christmas in a blur of paperwork and biotic exercises "This isn't just the booze right?" Kaidan whispered "I mean-"

Shepard leaned down, inches from his lips. If Kaidan himself hadn't been drinking, the smell of whiskey would have been a sensory overload. Hovering for a moment Kaidan wondered if he was going to change his mind, but found that Shepard's other hand had moved from the table to his shoulder and his lips now pressed deeply in to his own.

He'd dreamed of this moment for two years, fantasized that Shepard would come back from the dead and show up on his doorsteps with a six pack and sweep him off of his feet. When he'd finally moved on the dreams didn't stop and it had killed him to find Shepard alive the way he did.

Returning the kiss, he felt himself rising from the chair. He needed to feel his body against his and Shepard was more than happy to oblige. It wasn't a smooth transition, sitting to standing, and he stumbled back a bit breaking the kiss to laugh "What are we doing?"

Shepard wrapped his arms around Kaidan's waist, pulling him back to him "We're celebrating."

"I very much doubt god intended the celebration of his only begotten son to be celebrated by getting drunk and making love" Kaidan raised his hands and placed them on either side of Shepard's face "but you're the boss."

Shepard leaned back in, kissing Kaidan more desperately than before. He not so subtly slid his hands from Kaidan's waist, to clasp on to his ass, causing Kaidan to press his groin harder against Shepard's own.

Moments felt like hours as they swayed against their own inability to stand up, breathlessly Kaidan suggested moving to the bed "I doubt the doc would want to hear that I broke my arm because I was too stubborn to lay down."

"I've had to explain away worse."

Kaidan raised his eyebrow.

"That's a story for another day" he took Kaidan by the waist and rolled him toward the bed, nibbling gently on his ears as they fell gracelessly on to the mattress, Shepard landed first and kicked his shoes off.

Kaidan quickly made work of his own shirt, then thanked god for once the commander wasn't in full uniform. A t-shirt was all he had to work with and it was an easy removal process, he simply had to kiss the other mans stomach and Shepard separated himself from it.

He looked up at Shepard as he traced lines along his hips with his tongue. A zipper later and Kaidan had full access to the skin he'd waited so patiently for. He pressed his thumbs along his thighs and eased them back up the his chest, kissing and licking his way back to Shepard's lips.

Kaidan felt his body tense as he brushed his own skin along the other mans, tiny hairs standing on edge, like an audience to their decadence.

He licked circles around his nipples and positioned himself delicately between Shepard's legs, his own pants long since removed. Quiet breaths urged Kaidan on, as he moved back down, edging himself off of the bed and on to his knees. He reached up and slowly removed Shepard's underclothes, kissing his inner thighs and calves as he did so. Reaching forward Kaidan found himself gently stroking the commanders cock, as he laid his head against his thigh, breathing hotly on his testicles.

"Mmm."

Kaidan smiled as he felt it the blood began to flow and it began to harden, his hand feeling smaller by the minute. When he decided it was sufficient he leaned up and kissed the tip, then made sure Shepard was watching as he edged his cock between his lips.

Shepard gasped as Kaidan rolled his tongue around the head, one hand cupped his balls and the other pinched a nipple between the thumb and his forefinger. Shepard would mention it later, but at the time he was fully unaware that Kaidan was emitting short electric bursts from his fingers, a kink he knew for certain Shepard enjoyed.

He was gracious with the saliva as he pressed forward, savoring each stroke as if tasting gold in flesh form. Shepard wasn't a quiet lover and that surprised Kaidan, nevertheless it was a pleasant one.

"Shit" he sighed and Kaidan looked up, dark eyes glazed over from the alcohol "come here." Shepard reached down and took Kaidan's chin, edging him up the bed. They lay pressed together, as if attempting to form in to one being.

Shepard bit and kissed the skin he saw, he was rough and sloppy and Kaidan shivered. He felt Shepard grab his cock and roll it gently between his fingers, his thumb pressing against the head. Kaidan bit his lip as he stroked it, less tenderly than Kaidan had been for him.

He cursed under his breath and felt Shepard smile against his chest. He thought about their first days together. The commander had made an effort to speak to him every day and although he didn't understand it then, he'd hoped dearly that it was more than just a commander asking the advice of his crewman. He knew now that if he'd only been less cautious, less naive, he could have had him then.

Shepard finally allowed some space between them and leaned up on his elbow, watching Kaidan's throat as he swallowed and sighed. He felt proud to be there with him and wanted nothing but to make this moment last. He edged away from Kaidan's cock and took a handful of the lieutenants ass, gripping it enthusiastically. He slid his hand around his back and ass at a leisurely pace, teasing Kaidan's skin with his short fingernails.

" _John_ " Kaidan begged softly when he felt Shepard's fingers sweep against his asshole.

"Impatient" Shepard whispered, as he massaged his anus with his thumb, pressing gently without penetrating "do you have any-" But Kaidan was way ahead of him, reaching in to the drawer next to him, he grabbed a bottle of lubrication, he'd only recently purchased and a condom.

He handed the lube to Shepard and smiled "Just uh, take your time, it's-" he was suddenly embarrassed "it's been years."

Shepard nodded and positioned himself between Kaidan's legs, propping them around his thighs, he poured a heavy amount of lubrication on to his fingers and pressed them against Kaidan's ass. Adding more lubrication as he slowly edged a single finger in, causing a Kaidan to catch his breath "Tell me if you want to stop."

"No, no I'm, I'm okay, please" Kaidan replied with a slight slur, biting his lip as he felt Shepard's finger exit and enter. His body relaxed and within minutes Shepard had two fingers inside of him; he lifted his legs up and eyed the commander who placed his cock against Kaidan's ass, lubricating the condom itself as well as his asshole again. Shepard motioned to Kaidan as he rubbed the head against his ass as if asking permission to enter him. Kaidan nodded and held his breath as he felt the head pass through, he exhaled and shuddered.

Shepard moaned as he pressed further, gyrating his pelvis slowly, hesitating only seconds before each penetration. Kaidan held on to his knees "Please, oh god" he pressed himself closer until he felt Shepard was fully inside of him. Each man exhaled, Shepard leaned down and kissed Kaidan deeply, as he pulled out and pushed in, his pace quickening with each motion.

"That's good, oh that's really fucking good" Kaidan said through labored breaths, Shepard's cock pressed hard as he took it to the base, then using only the head he exited and entered vigorously.

Kaidan reached down to stroke his own cock, but Shepard made it there before him. He stroked quickly with each movement of his hips, with each grunt and moan. It was sloppy and Shepard found himself using the nightstand to hold himself up, still very drunk but undoubtedly excited. " _Kaidan_ " Shepard slowed down "turn over and get on your knee's" it was a gentle command, one of which Kaidan was more than happy to oblige. He turned over and spread his knee's to better keep himself balanced, waiting for Shepard to once again enter him.

It wasn't long.

Shepard edged his cock up against his ass again, grabbing the lube for more ease then dropping the bottle unceremoniously on the table. He pushed in and this time was less gentle, slamming himself in to him with vitality. Kaidan pressed himself against Shepard's cock with each motion.

Shepard leaned down and reached below Kaidan's knee's and continued stroking his cock as the sweat began to pour from their bodies. " _Kaidan, fuck_ " he moaned against his back and quickened his pace.

Kaidan knew he was close and between the booze and the sex, his mind was clouded and all he could do was moan. His own cock tightened as Shepard let go to dig his fingers in to Kaidan's hips, he stopped suddenly and Kaidan felt him pulsate and shudder. But unlike other partners, Shepard almost immediately removed himself and pressed face between Kaidan's knee's. He didn't have time to react as Shepard took his cock in his mouth.

" _John_ " he couldn't look down as Shepard reached up with both hands to grab Kaidan's ass, forcing his dick in and out of his lips. Kaidan rapidly began moving with these motions and found himself fucking the commanders mouth.

He came quickly and fell to his back beside Shepard who was still laying awkwardly at the edge of the bed. He was easing off the condom and tying a knot in the top.

He stood up and walked to the trash before coming back over to lay next to Kaidan.

"Merry Christmas Kaidan."

 


End file.
